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Post by lakeripple on Apr 25, 2010 9:42:25 GMT -8
moonlitice [/color] listen up girl and just so you know everything, everything was your fault[/center][/font] Her paws flew over the ground. When did they touch? Did they ever touch? Could they even touch? And what does it matter. She was free. There was nothing that could keep her from being free. She had already decided, after a long talk with Redwing of all cats, that today would be different. That today she would be normal and happy and sweet. Too long had she cried.
But tabby paws slowed as she reached the Flame Tree. A sharp intake of breath. A sudden cowering inside. She couldn't do this! She couldn't do this! Knowing that she was far ahead of Redwing and Sharpclaw, Moonlitice cowered before the trunk, listening to the stillness of the forest. No. No. No. She couldn't do this.
Turn of the head. Kit's laughter. Twitch of the ears. Stern words. Flick of the tail. Screams. Screams. SCREAMS!
Oh StarClan, make it stop!
"Come on Littlekit!"
NO!
Moonlitice shrieked as she watched ghosts of kits wander before her paws, laughing and running in the winter snow. NO! There he was, so small, her brother. White with gray tabby markings. The grayest eyes she had ever seen. LITTLEKIT! Moonlitice cried out and leaped towards the mirage of her brother. "Littlekit!" she cried. "Go back to camp! GO BACK!"
"Come on Littlekit, don't be a chicken! Let's show her what we can do!"
Watching helplessly as her kitten self led her brother away, Moonlitice shivered. What a mousebrain she had been! How could she have thought it was a good idea, taking her brother out of camp? He wasn't as fast, and they were four moons old. No, no, NO!
The ghost kits wandered and were replaced by two older she-cats facing each other with hatred as a small tabby looked on, shivering to her toes.
"Foxcloud! Stay away from my apprentice!"
Moonlitice backed up, shaking. That was the day...
"Firemist, I am the deputy. It is my duty to make sure that the young cats are being trained well. And I see some... gaps."
"She's been training for not even a moon!" The phantom Firemist stalked around Foxcloud, ending up right in front of the young Moonlitpaw, as if protecting her.
"And by now you should be teaching her how to fight. Should we... demonstrate?" And Foxcloud leaped, claws unsheathed.
Moonlitice backed away. Why had she said the Flame Tree? She knew it was where everything went wrong. Everything. Went. Wrong. |
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Post by Glyph on Apr 25, 2010 16:51:46 GMT -8
Redwing had lied. He was exhausted.
The tom's paws hit the ground with a heavy thump, sending up a flurry of snow as the warrior slid from the log, a sigh escaping the iron trap of his clenched jaws.
Suck it up Redwing, you weak little kittypet. Heaving a breath, the warrior stayed his trembling muscles and trotted on, hardening his eyes against the tempting tug of sleep. He'd been on hunting patrols and dawn watches for days now; he really should have rested longer before coming out again... But that would entail leaving Moonlitice to hunt by herself, and for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do that, just as he couldn't seem to ignore Coldpaw that day at the lake. Maybe he was going soft in his old age.
The chuckle that rose in his throat was choked back down at the scream, distant, terrified, heartbreaking.
And it came from the direction of the Flame Tree. Redwing's head shot up in alarm, protesting muscles forgotten.
"... Moonlitice?"
Another cry, and suddenly adrenaline surged through his veins like liquid fire, chasing away the weariness the way the sun chased away the night; his pulse pounded in his ears, turning his vision red as he scraped and scrambled through the icy forest. Dear StarClan, what was wrong?
"Moonlitice!"
The warrior shot through the dead brush, pelt a streak of fire blazing against the shine of the snow; his paws hardly touched the ground, but unlike Moonlitice, Redwing could only bolt like that with a purpose--for him, running had long since lost its peace.
The cat knew he was nearing the Flame Tree, the source of the scream; he dove through a tangled patch of briars, snagging his ear, and skidded to a screeching, snow-spraying halt beneath the tree--something was wrong, something was wrong, whatwaswrong?--and swung his head around wildly, snarling and baring his claws at...
... Nothing.
There was nothing--nothing except Moonlitice, cowering and backing away from more nothing. Slowly, his curled jaws turned to a frown, and the fire in his eyes cooled to a simmer.
The tom stood there for a moment, dripping blood and panting, completely at a loss for what to do--he finally opted for quietly calling her name, and narrowing his eyes questioningly.
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Post by lakeripple on Apr 27, 2010 14:51:37 GMT -8
A chill wind drifted past, stirring the leaves of the Flame Tree. It rustled. It moaned. Every little movement, every little sound, was a flick of a fox tail, the coming of claws. Moonlitice shivered. Why had she suggested this place? She knew this was it.
Redwing must think her crazy. Peeking at the tom slightly from under heavy-lidded eyes, she took a deep shuddering breath. Might as well tell him. Sounding crazy wasn't much if you were already thought as such.
"This place is haunted," Moonlitice mumbled. "Haunted by my past. I shouldn't have come here. So stupid of me." Shaking slightly, she got to her paws and faced Redwing fully. Snow stuck to her tabby fur. She knew that she was beautiful, and as a young kit, a young apprentice too, she would have flaunted that.
As she had already explained today, that Moonlitice was gone.
A flash of amber eyes as the brown tabby kit pounced after a leaf. Moonlitkit. Moonlitice blinked, clearing it away. A dazzle of teeth as the growing she-cat flounced across the clearing. Moonlitpaw. Moonlitice turned away from her memories in disgust. A disheveled warrior, staring blankly at her meal. Moonlitice. And that was the most painful of all. How had she become that? This tree knew it all. |
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Post by Glyph on Apr 27, 2010 16:02:34 GMT -8
Redwing waited for the thundering in his ears to pass before he spoke, simply staring at the she-cat as if she'd grown a second pair of ears. Eventually he just heaved a sigh and plopped onto his haunches heavily, ignoring the snow that crunched beneath his claws.
He and Pinekit had come here a lot--not as much as the Dry Fields, but she'd loved climbing through the roots of the Flame Tree and chasing the mice and squirrels. The tom couldn't remember how many times they'd ruined the hunting for the poor warriors passing by on patrol at the time.
Redwing smirked lopsidedly, but his voice was hollow in the crisp air, hollow and bitter as his memories had become.
"I guess it is."
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Post by lakeripple on May 13, 2010 14:48:20 GMT -8
There was nothing to say, really. Moonlitice ran her eyes thoughtfully over Redwing. He seemed to understand more than most cats. But then, most cats didn't understand at all. It was interesting. Perhaps almost coincidental.
"But not in the same way..." she whispered. She had come here recently, she hunted here all the time! But there were just these days where a culmination of terror sucked out all the life in her, leaving her lost and alone in a sea of war. These days may be rare, but they weren't rare enough. Moonlitice shook her head softly, clearing it from the visions from her past and present. This was one of those days.
Sighing in near depression that had been building ever since the incident, she wondered to herself why she had even thought today could be different. It wasn't. It couldn't be.
It never was. |
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Post by Glyph on May 17, 2010 16:45:31 GMT -8
Redwing's only response was to grunt through his nose, and close his eyes to guard against the shine of the snow. The tom breathed deeply for a moment, taking in the she-cat, the tree, the milky sky--all completely different now than in the memories he held of the past.
Golden eyes shifted, widened thoughtfully. Well, maybe not completely different...
Snow splayed beneath his paws as he lurched to his feet, nose pointed toward the Flame Tree. His pelt hung limp against his scrawny body--he'd really had no right to tease Moonlitice earlier--rippling in time to his steps. It seemed, for a moment, that he was loping toward the edge of the clearing, as if he were tired of the company and making to leave.
Instead, he swung toward the trunk, searching the looping, gnarled roots that popped from the ground near the tree's base, paused midstep in front of one in particular, and gave a slightly exasperated hiss. It was covered in ice and snow, freezing the previous autumn's fallen leaves and debris around it and obscuring the wood. Typical--he never could do anything the easy way.
Huffing, the ginger and white warrior scratched at it with both paws, working impatiently for several heartbeats until he'd managed to slew the top layer off.
He sat back suddenly, admiring his handiwork with a raised brow. There were marks--scratches, traced in blue ice so they shone like lightning in the sun against the soggy grey-brown. Redwing stared hard at the marks made in his kithood, and wondered why it'd taken him this long to remember.
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Post by lakeripple on May 18, 2010 14:29:35 GMT -8
She looked at him, wondering what he was thinking. Tearing up the ground like that... what was going on? Moonlitice watched with eyes narrowed against the sun's glare on the snow, until the scratches showed up. Odd... truly, truly odd. But... what purpose did it serve?
"What's that Redwing?" she asked, her voice hoarse. It looked like marks made by a kit... But what other kit had been as stupid as her? Of course, all kits were stupid. She had seen too many die of curiousity. A cat's curse. Laid on us all.
She watched silently as her younger self scurried frantically through the screwn autumn leaves. Littlekit came a few seconds after. She relaxed slightly. So he hadn't been dead here. There was some peace in the world.
She looked at Redwing again, biting her lip with her sharp teeth. "Um... What exactly happened to you? I... heard you... had a sister." She stared at the ground again, pushing her paws halfheartedly through the snow. "I had a brother." |
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Post by Glyph on May 18, 2010 17:35:27 GMT -8
"You heard right." The tom replied simply, voice lighter than his expression. "Her name was Pinekit, and we used to come here and play when we were younger."
"We were a wild pair--never listened to anyone, never did anything we were supposed to, got into more trouble than we were worth..." Redwing sniffed as if the topic bored him, but he didn't take his eyes from the scratches. "She was a good cat. A better one than I could ever be. Sharp as an adder's fang and just as likely to bite, but fiercely kind. Couldn't sit still." He smirked, casting the she-cat a wry glance, "You two might have been friends. As for what happened..."
Redwing's voice grew deathly quiet; he didn't look at Moonlitice, just flicked his ears and averted his eyes from the phantoms darting through the clearing.
"This notch in my ear? She made that the day she died. This scar across my shoulders, where the fur hasn't grown back properly? That was made the same day by the fox that killed her."
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Post by lakeripple on Jun 1, 2010 9:30:28 GMT -8
As Redwing explained his past, she matched it to her own. She had always been the wild one. Littlekit was laid back, cautious, always keeping his paws in places he had been before. She had been crazy and reckless, leaping from challenge to challenge, full of hunger for the world and excitement for the next day. Of course, all that had changed after she had forced her brother to go out of the camp with her, even though he was smaller than her. Even though he could not run as fast. Even though she knew it was a bad idea.
When he got the the end, she froze, hairs sticking up and mouth in a snarl. "Fox," she snarled. "It's always a fox." Tail fluffed out, she paced the clearing, pulling up grass with her sharp claws.
Moonlitice looked up at Redwing, her amber eyes alight with an inner fire. "Littlekit was killed by a fox. He was chased through here and died somewhere closer to camp." She stared at the ground, grief rippling through her again. "You saw how fast I ran here. I was never slower. The fox never touched me. I'll never stop feeling guilty." The she-cat looked at the tom next to her again. "It was me who forced him to go out of the camp with me, you know. If it had just been me, maybe there would be no death. Maybe I would have died. But it doesn't change the fact that he came with me and he died."
Moonlitice's legs crumpled out from underneath her. "I've always wondered, if I had run back to him, if he would have gotten away. I've wondered about if he had the running legs. I've wondered about if there was no fox." She watched mutely as a tear dropped on the ground. "That's why I help Foxcloud, you know? I want to have that power in fighting, I want to learn how to be so sure of yourself, all the time. How she just knows that she is going to win. I want that. I want that so I can make sure that what happened to my brother never happens again. Cats think that it’s because she was the first cat to open up to me. Maybe she was. All I can remember thinking was that was what power looked like. I remember thinking that if I took on power like that, I could avenge him. And I leapt.”
She laughed as she looked up again. ”Do you think I’m crazy, Redwing? I’ve been told I’m crazy. Am I crazy to want this so bad? I’ve lost touch of what that might mean a long time. Do think I’m crazy? I never wanted to be crazy. All I wanted was to know that I did something to help my brother. He was such a sweet tom. He would have made a great warrior. One who would live up to the warrior code more than I ever will.” |
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Post by Glyph on Jun 4, 2010 10:01:54 GMT -8
"Pinekit and I were both wild. We were both stupid and disobedient; argumentative." His claws tapped the root thoughtfully, "She was always the faster one; I was always the braver one. But I was the one to turn tail and escape with just a slash across my back."
The tom fell quiet for a long time. Eventually, he turned to meet the she-cat's eyes.
"The thing is, Moonlitice," Redwing finally went on, very softly, "Is that you will never know. You will never know if there was something you could have done; you will never know if it would have made any difference anyway."
Abruptly, he seemed to deflate, sagging under the weight of an old, deep sadness. His golden eyes, however, never wavered.
"You're not crazy, Moonlitice, but dwelling on it--agonizing over all the "what if's"--is what will drive you crazy. The past is gone--you can't live it again and forget the present. Take it from me--trying will only ruin your future. Foxcloud is strong and proud, but she's not perfect. No one is perfect; no one always knows."
He smiled at her, genuinely, regretfully, "Find a purpose, but don't let what happened rule your life. Make your own decisions; become your own cat. I took too long to realize that." The smile turned into a smirk, and a bit of that old Redwing snap rose in his eyes, "You don't want to turn out bitter and unlikable like me."
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Post by lakeripple on Jun 4, 2010 10:14:27 GMT -8
Taking deep breaths, trying to calm her overstimulated heart, Moonlitice thought about what Redwing had said. Her mind pushed and pulled over his words, like a tide. She had never been especially smart, but when she put her mind to it, the she-cat could actually almost make sense of her world.
She especially lingered over his story. "Do you think that you aren't brave for running? Fear is defense, not a weakness. You were brave for listening to what your fear said." Moonlitice stared at the ground, wondering if she was trying to make him feel better, or make herself feel better.
When he said she wasn't crazy... Now that lit up Moonlitice a little more. She looked up, eyes alert for once, then listened to what he was saying after that. But Foxcloud did always know. She always had a plan, and it always worked. EarthClan and SkyClan were idiots not to see that. Foxcloud could make the Clans great, working in harmony and full of peace, but somehow Moonlitice knew that she was content with war for now. The two rebel Clans were giving her just what she wanted. But she didn't say any of this to Redwing.
And her final thought? "You aren't bitter and unlikable. At least... not totally." She smiled slightly, purring impossible. "There are cats that like you, that want you to like them back, to be their friend." She stared at him for a second, wondering if she was one of them. Her feelings were something that she couldn't ever read. Did she want Redwing to be her friend? Could she ever make another? All of her friends were either much older than her or in a different Clan. It was pitiful. Redwing didn't fit either of those categories. |
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Post by Glyph on Jun 6, 2010 7:34:55 GMT -8
"Hmph. Couldn't the same be said for you, then?" Redwing snorted, adding another scratch to the old root, "I don't know what I am, Moonlitice, and I'll probably never find out."
Then he had to crack a smile, "Gee, thanks. That makes me feel loads better." The tom shook his head, eyes smug, "Apprentices don't count, Moonlitice. They're stuck with me until they become warriors anyway. And neither does Bristlefur; she wants to rip my fur off every time we bump into each other." His ginger shoulders shrugged slightly; getting close to cats wasn't something Redwing excelled at.
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Post by lakeripple on Jun 8, 2010 12:55:56 GMT -8
Staring at Redwing, it slowly registered in Moonlitice's mind that maybe it did apply to her as well. Maybe running had been a form of bravery for her too. She never really thought about that. She just knew that she wasn't brave. Cats said she was brave because she could hang around Foxcloud without running away in tears. But that was for different reasons. She liked Foxcloud... was that so hard to believe? Foxcloud had been nice to her. Moonlitice knew that the deputy had her faults... But those could be overlooked when you got to see how much she really cared for her Clan, deep down, so deep that Foxcloud probably didn't even know herself. The deputy thought she was just ambitious. Moonlitice thought she knew better.
It was kind of pitiful listening to Redwing try to think of someone who was his friend. It shouldn't be that hard... Moonlitice herself could think of more cats! Let's see, in FireClan she had Foxcloud, Firemist, and Shadowfire... and then in other Clans... There was Toxicfang, and then Fuzeshock, Wolfstorm... there were lots of cats. Redwing had to have someone.
"Tell you what. You aren't being awful to me, so I'll be your friend, as long as you don't interfere when I'm around Foxcloud. I don't want you dead." That was another thing about Foxcloud... she got jealous very easily. |
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Post by Glyph on Jun 12, 2010 6:16:27 GMT -8
Redwing perked a brow, smirk still present. Apparently sarcasm was lost on the she-cat. Either way, his expression brightened to something that was almost friendly.
"Oh, don't worry about that much. Contrary to popular belief, I don't go out of my way to pick fights without good reason."
Perhaps he wasn't exactly fond of Foxcloud, but she was still the FireClan deputy, and a powerful cat even without Burningstar's approval. The tom knew better than to challenge her, whatever he thought of her ambitions... Though, admittedly, it did make him sick, and angrier with himself than he already was. There was a reason why he didn't stay around camp very much anymore.
"Anyway, I appreciate the sentiment. I don't want me dead either," But what I want and what I deem appropriate aren't always the same. The tom shrugged, "Anyway, it's not my place to tell you how to live your life."
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Post by lakeripple on Jul 2, 2010 11:10:48 GMT -8
Moonltice listened to Redwing quietly, her mind turning over all the he was saying. His tone suggested that he thought she was stupid. Man she hated sarcasm. Yes, she had gotten the loads better part. It hadn't made him feel better at all. Might have even made him feel worse. And it wasn't like she was offering to be his friend just because she felt sorry for him - which she did - but because his story was too creepily like hers. She sighed. This were so much easier when you were an apprentice. Then cats would just turn you down or accept.
"I'm serious you know," she said softly. "Pretty much no one in the Clan that's around my own age will even talk to me. You are the first to do so for so long. They all think I'm completely insane. I only really have Foxcloud, and Firemist, and Shadowfire. And they are all... moons away from me. Heck, one was my mentor. And one was the cat who wanted to be my mentor. And the last one is the cat who understands both of them. And all the cats my own age that like me in some way are..." Here she paused and looked down at the ground. "Out. Of. Clan."
Moonlitice looked up at Redwing, completely putting aside what she had thought about him earlier behind her. "So I'm serious. You are the first cat I've talked to who can sort of understand my past. And I think that would help me. I think that would help us both."
After she was done talking, Moonlitice felt incredibly foolish. |
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Post by Glyph on Jul 2, 2010 14:16:19 GMT -8
The smirk softened ever so slightly as the bi-color tom listened to Moonlitice. Then he rolled his eyes a bit--just because he wasn't the most popular cat didn't mean he didn't have friends. Bristlefur, Coldpaw, and now...
His expression softened a bit more.
"... You'll have to forgive me--my default setting is "snark". I know you're serious." Redwing settled down next to her, shaking his head. "You're not insane. Just different. Some cats are just too mousebrained to see that."
Redwing sighed, studying the ground, thinking back to those painful days after Pinekit's death, the days he'd spend curled up in the nursery, the days he'd lash out and get into trouble as an apprentice. The whole Clan had seen him collapse in the middle of the camp after he'd fled from the fox. The whole Clan knew what had happened that day. They'd sympathized. They'd scolded him, blamed his misbehavior and anti-social attitude on his sister's death. But not one of them had understood, really understood, what he'd gone through.
"You don't have to bargain." The tom smiled, and for all his sarcasm earlier, it shone genuine in his eyes--he didn't think her foolish at all. "Of course we can be friends." Then, with a dry grin, he added innocently; "Just so long as you know that every once in a while I might have a tiny bit of a temper."
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Post by lakeripple on Jul 6, 2010 9:27:28 GMT -8
Blinking, Moonlitice couldn't help but feel a little warmer inside. It would have sucked if Redwing had said no. Her words made her feel foolish, yes. He had the power to make her feel even more foolish.
She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at Redwing's comment about his temper. Moonlitice had heard him from across the camp enough times to know that yes, he did have a temper. But she did too. She just knew how to control it.
"So, we going to hunt now?" She felt more at ease, less overwhelmed by the literal ghosts of her past. It felt better knowing that there was someone who had experienced loss like hers. Not perfect, and she knew that she shouldn't be happy that there was someone else, but she did. It was cruel and awful and not cool.
But it did make her feel a bit better. |
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Post by Glyph on Jul 7, 2010 5:19:35 GMT -8
"Of course," the tom said simply, smirking. He rose to his paws and shook his fur out as he stretched, looking more like a dog than a cat. Redwing swiped a paw across his ear, cleaning away a bit of the blood--stupid brambles--and looked around.
"So, where to?" He glanced at the she-cat, perking a brow. She seemed a great deal calmer than when they'd first arrived, but the memories she had of this place were obviously strong and warring with her. Would that put her off a hunt? Redwing shrugged, more to hide his weariness than anything else. After this he'd have to find a place to take a nap--but not in camp. Pushing yourself full-tilt for a week straight couldn't be good for you, but it was impossible for him to sleep around his Clan anymore, especially when there were a few cats whose ears he wished he could claw sharing the warrior's den. "Here, or should we move on?"
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Post by lakeripple on Jul 7, 2010 8:10:04 GMT -8
Getting to her paws as well, Moonlitice breathed in deeply as she stretched. She pushed the ghosts of her past away, trying to concentrate on what was going on here and now. It was cold. In the cold, cats always needed food.
"Well, we've been here for a while now and haven't seen, heard, or smelled any prey. So maybe it would be better to go a bit deeper into the forest. See what is around there." She looked around with narrowed eyes as she spoke, concentrating on the scenting of the air. "That way, maybe," she decided, flicking her tail towards a copse of trees that smelled strongly of mouse.
Inside she knew that there was probably plenty of prey here. But she had to get away from the place. She couldn't ignore the ghosts forever. They were out for her blood. Or rather, her sanity. It made her shiver and feel desperate to leave this place.
But Moonlitice breathed in deeply and waited to see what Redwing would say. Hunting patrols didn't work unless everyone had a say in things. |
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Post by Glyph on Jul 7, 2010 8:59:23 GMT -8
Redwing smirked a little, thinking that maybe, just maybe, there was a reason why they'd found no prey. Blood curdling screams and flying snow weren't exactly inconspicuous.
"Works for me," the tom said, voice betraying none of the snicker he barely suppressed, "It looks like the snow starts to thin farther in, so maybe we'll have better luck running across something out foraging."
His smirk grew into a mischievous grin--filled with an eagerness, and a blunt stubbornness that was so uniquely Redwing that any cat who'd seen it at least once knew it meant trouble. "I'd say race you, but I'm not interested in eating snow."
Then the young warrior padded forward a step, lifted his nose to the wind and breathed deeply for a moment, letting his golden eyes hood and his battered ears swing forward. Mouse, definitely, and maybe a thrush or two; it smelled promising, though he'd always privately hoped that one day he'd scare up one of the ravens that roosted near the Flame Tree.
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